A sad Goodbye

I wrote this post months ago, when I found out that our days in Stockholm were coming  to an end.  Steve was offered a great job and an amazing opportunity to advance his career.  The reason we moved to Stockholm in the first place, was to land this job... and he did it.  What the rest of the summer had in store for us..... well... I couldn't have imagined it in a million years.  Read on to find out where we actually end up.

Two years ago, almost to the day, we were selling our house in Johns Creek and moving overseas to a very big unknown.  I shed many many tears for so many reasons.  Saying goodbye to some of my best friends in the world,

watching my boys say goodbye to their best friends, selling my house, saying goodbye to my neighbors, my tennis team, my softball girls, Lifetime fitness, and my amazing coworkers....and the wonderful schools that the boys attended.

I remember telling Steve, I can do anything for two years.  I was absolutely certain that I would hate living in Sweden, and that I would not have any friends, and of course be bored.  Boy was I wrong.  Not only do I LOVE living here, but I have so many great friends, and my days are far from boring!  We have built some amazing friendships, that saying goodbye now, is painful.  One of my goals upon moving to Sweden (my sister just reminded me of this the other day) was to make at least one SWEDISH friend.... well, I'm honored to say that we have made many Swedish friends.  Friendships that I know will last a lifetime.

Jake said, "Mom, when I left America, I knew that I would see those friends again.  Leaving here, I know that I will not see these friends again."  That statement breaks my heart.  It is very true for some of his friends, especially those that he met at school because most of them are expats and here for a short time as well.  But, we did reinforce to Jake, there are friends that we will most definitely see again.  We have built some amazing friendships with many of these families, that we are already planning visits and vacations together in the near future.

Apollon Soccer Club

The Ericsson friendships that we made are unique as well, in that so many of us will end up in Dallas somewhere down the road.   I'm trying to walk away from this knowing that through social media, and vacations, these friends will always remain in my life... no matter how big or small a part.

The other part I'm struggling with is leaving my life in Stockholm. So I made a list of Things that I will miss terribly... 

• walking everywhere.  I love it!  I'm not looking forward to "living" in my car again, as all of you Americans reading this post, know too well.   I can only hope that the boys and I have learned that a mile (2 km) is not a long way to walk... and that we can ride bikes and scooters instead of turning the ignition of a car. At the same time, the car is one of the things I'm looking forward to having again.... for soccer practice taxiing!

• I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to live in this amazing city.

 k

  It's not only beautiful, but it's kid-friendly and safe with  tons of things to do.  Yes, there are things that drive me crazy, and I will not miss.... but what city doesn't have those? Spending many hours outside, not only in the sunshine,

but in the rain,

snow

and cold.  I hope this stays with me forever.  Weather should never stop our children from playing, nor should it stop us from getting out.   Thank you Sweden for that lesson!

• This next one, not living in the city anymore, will be our biggest obstacle.  Steve and I are city people, always have been.. but suppressed it for many years.  hahahah 
•  There is something to be said about walking out the door, down a few store fronts to the florist, and bringing home fresh cut flowers each week.  This is a favorite for sure.  I know I can buy fresh flowers anywhere... but I can't walk the streets carrying them!  
• This next one will make you laugh, I'm sure.  If Emile is reading this, he is definitely laughing.  But, I will miss public transportation. I really enjoy riding the train and  buses around the city.  I love just sitting back and taking a deep breath from life  I love people watching.  I love seeing new places in the city that I wouldn't have noticed if I was driving.  I love the independence that public transportation gave me when I moved here. 
• Steve and I actually talked about this one last night... we will really miss getting ready for an evening out, and walking to and from the restaurant. 
•  I (and the kids) will miss their independence.  The boys move around much more free here....we as kids had a lot of freedom when we were kids.  We road our bikes all day, came home for dinner, didn't have cell phones or someone watching our every move.  We are raising a generation that has no freedom.  I'm not here to debate this topic, just stating a fact based on experience.  I love that my boys feel confident coming home from school alone, riding public transport alone, can go into a store and buy groceries alone, and know how to handle themselves on city streets.  Some of you will have a lot to say regarding this, and that's your opinion.  What I'm saying is that for me and my family, this has been a blessing.  Which leads me to the next comment.  
• We will miss Stockholm International School so much!  I will start by saying, I've worked in many schools in my teaching career, and my children have gone to a few schools, and there is no perfect school out there.  There are good and not so good in every school.  But, this school, has more good, than bad.  The curriculum ( IB), in my opinion is great.  My children have become real global learners.  The school values the importance of active time... and that ALL students should have breaks in their day, go outside, run around, and enjoy the sunshine

Sports Day for Pre-K

Sports Day Smith's class

(or darkness hahahah). They value physical education, where all students have hours of this subject a week.

Chase and I last year, during the All School Run Day

It would NEVER be considered something to remove from the curriculum, nor would art or music.  The school values nutrition, which is why there are organic fruit baskets throughout the  halls for all children, staff, and parents to enjoy whenever they see fit.  The lunches consist of real food, both vegetarian options and lactose and gluten free options, served on real dishes with real silverware... sitting at tables with chairs.  The students have responsibilities in the lunchroom and are taught proper manners while eating.  And my favorite, which is a hot topic in the US right now, is the LACK of obsession regarding testing.  I am actually dreading putting my boys back into the American school system.  And I don't say this lightly... this is coming from a public school kid and public school teacher, that loves her job more than anyone!

• On to a less controversial subject, I will miss my hairdressers, Gustav and Tove terribly.  Finding gems like these are few and far between... so here's to another search!  Just as important as them, is my massage therapist, Ann.  Many of you know that I have a neck that doesn't work most of the time.  hahahaha  Seeing Ann, twice a month, has done miracles for my neck function!  These are definitely in no particular order, because my next one, 
• TRAVELING, is one that brings tears to my eyes.  Besides living in the city, Steve and I love traveling more than anything.  My experiences around this amazing continent and world, have been memories that will last forever!  But, I'm not done!  I want to see as many places around the world as I possibly can before I can no longer travel.  I hope we instilled this in our boys... because they started much younger than we did.  If you haven't left the country, my advice is to set that goal in the next year or two, and see another part of the world.  I should write an entire blog about this, and maybe I will one day.  We are not finished traveling.. but I will miss hopping on the plane for a long weekend in Europe somewhere.  With this said, Steve and I realized that there are so many places in the US that we haven't seen.  So, here's to U.S. travel for the next year!  

As with all places, there are some things I will NOT miss.

•  I will no longer go shopping and have to decide between buying toilet paper and clothes detergent (both are needed) because I can't carry all of it home on this trip. 
• Carrying the recycle four blocks up the road and then having to sort it individually into all the bins.  
• Carrying my garbage outside into a new building and dropping it in the shoot.  On this same line, being able to use LARGE garbage bags again.  
• This should go at the top of my list... Having a garbage disposal in my life again.  There is no greater invention in all the world!  You all take it for granted everyday, but when you lose it, you realize what a good thing you had.  
• We will not miss living on top of each other.  We all are longing for our own space, a yard, and rooms for the boys to escape (that are far from us).  hahaha  
• We also long for the days of opening the front door and seeing kids playing on the street, or taking bikes and riding to a friend's house. 
• I will not miss the washer and dryer combo, that neither washes the clothes perfectly, nor dries them!

•  I know Steve will have a comment or two about my next one, but I can't wait to watch t.v. without have to read an entire manual, or be a certified technician to play my favorite show.  
• We both will not miss the BUFFERING, as our favorite show is nocked off line because we are streaming from another country. 
•  Girls, you will like this one.  I will not miss manicures and pedicures that cost more than a car payment.

 I will also be happy to understand the world around me, both in print and spoken language.  Enough said on that topic!

Now for a few things that I can't wait to have back in our lives.... TARGET and WHOLE FOODS.  Oh how I've missed you both.  But most importantly, our family.  Even though we will not be in the same state, we are still only a short plane ride away away.  

Spending lots of time with Gamma this summer

 best of friends

Long, fun summer with Pop Pop

Great times with Kiki this summer

Jakey and Aunt Eabs

Nat, Chloe and Smith

the Florida Gang

cousins on the beach

I'm laughing as I write these lists.  When I first arrived, I compared everything to America, and I was constantly getting annoyed at this and that.  After about a year, I learned to accept the cultural and behavioral differences, and have grown to love this quirky city.  My heart aches at the thought of not living here anymore.  I can only hope that we have this opportunity again somewhere down the line.

 The life of an expat wife is very different from any other.  For one, we have to be adventurous or we won't make it in this job.  We have to be courageous, or we will let the fear of the unknown destroy the opportuity that lies ahead.  We have to be strong, not only for ourselves to survive, but for our children to feel safe, and for our husbands to be able to perform in their jobs without feeling guilty.  We have to come out of our comfort zones more often than not... introducing ourselves to new people, joining clubs and organizations to find a place where we fit in, and learning how to survive in a culture that is drastically different from the one we come from.  But we also get to have a lot of fun.  Many days feel like vacations... as we explore our new city, have lunch and fika at a new cafes, socialize and have "parties" while the kids are at school, and all the while making new friends.  I will miss my expat life, and I will miss the adventures that we are leaving behind.

 What I have to accept, is that part of being an expat wife, is sacrificing my own goals for the better of my family.  So another reason for my sadness is that I was offered an amazing job at the International school for next year.  If there was ever a job that was perfect for me, this was it.  Turning down this opportunity was so hard, but something I had to do.  I am hoping that I will find this opportunity in our new city, where I can work in a school and have a large impact on its reading program.  I hope that I can pursue my passions and dreams when it comes to my career.

Here are some pictures of the last week of school in Stockholm.

Pre-K saying thank you

Pre-K's field trip on the ferry

best buds

Great friends

Jake's best buds

Chase, the ladies man

Pizza party in the sun

Mrs. Evers... the best!

Ms. Lisa and Ms. Olivia... amazing teachers

Ms. Cruz... fantastic

Smitty's best buds

3rd graders.. moving on

Jake and Björn.. both moving out of Stockholm

We will miss these wonderful friends

Leon and Smitty were always together

Taiki and Smitty

 To all of you that came to visit us over the past two years.... Thank you!  Your visits meant the world to us, that you would take the time and money to come and see our life over here.  You cured a bit of home sickness, you provided memories that we will have forever.  We are truly blessed to have so many amazing friends and family!  For those that didn't have the opportunity to see Stockholm, I'm sorry that you missed seeing an absolutely beautiful city.  I hope that you will put this country on your bucket list, to visit one day. I hope my blog filled in some of the gaps, and you were able to experience a piece of it through my words and pictures.

As I close down this blog,(insert "sniffle") it's time for my last bit of shocking news.  As many of you know, we're back in the states, and planning to move to Texas, where we were waiting for our house to be built.  Well, last week, there was an unexpected turn of events regarding Steve's job, and the customers that he is supporting.  They all relocated to L.A. and therefore encouraged us to move out there.  Since we found this news out 48 hours before our move to Texas, you can imagine the craziness that followed.  Without going into specifics, Steve and I flew to California, and did a months worth of house hunting in 4 days.  We both laugh, saying that we aged 20 years from this experience.  I'm sure my realtor thinks we are crazy, because we literally change our mind 100 times in the course of those four days.  When we left California last Sunday, we had no idea where we would live.  Thankfully, we have made a decision...

Steve and I hanging at Laguna Beach

and we are moving into our new home in Ladera Ranch, California this week.  The boys will start school next week, and we are excited about this next chapter.  We have no idea when our boxes will arrive, but we will make it work in an empty house until then.... hahahaha... Just kidding, we will live in temporary housing until our things arrive.

I'm sure my life will not be as exciting, and therefore not something you would want to read about.  So this will be my last blog post.  Since I love writing so much, I will be working with a new company called Youth Performance Foods, and I will be blogging for them.  Stay tuned for more scoop on that......

I will end with this.... we are in an amazing part of the country, with the beach 10 miles down the road,

and the mountain views from our bedroom windows  Here is your open invitation to come visit us...  all are welcome.... just not at the same time.  :)

The Paynes Take Orange County

Thank you for going through the past two years with me.. and for caring enough to read about our journey.