A Sad Goodbye

This week has been really tough for us as we had to say goodbye to a father and grandfather.  After a long, hard fight with cancer, Bebop went to heaven on Monday afternoon.  I decided to dedicate this blog post to him, John Payne.

I've known John since I was 18 years old.  I began dating his son and even back then I remember how much he welcomed me into his home and into their family.  Over 20 years has passed since our first encounter, and he became another dad to me.  When I lost my dad in 2008, I remember John giving me a hug and telling me how special I was to him.  Losing him this week has been just as hard as losing my own dad.

he was always playing with the kids

For those of you that knew John, you know that he was always the life of the party.  He could tell a story like no other and bring the entire room to tears (from laughter of course).  He loved to be with people and everyone loved to be with John.  I will miss so many things about him, but the one that stands out the most is how much he made me smile.  We would all sit around a table, after a delicious John Payne meal, and listen to stories of his younger years in Canada, tearing up the city with his brother and their friends.  He had a passion for life, he loved America, and spent a portion of his life defending our country.  He was an amazing cook.... and really enjoyed making delicious meals for us whenever we came for a visit.  But... don't be late to the dinner table or you would get a piece of his mind.   You never ate one of his meals cold!  Every trip we ever took to his home, he would always have my favorite martini drink waiting for me as I walked in.  He made a mean cocktail too.

John welcomed everyone into his home.   A few years ago when I was pregnant with Chase, he knew that I needed a break from "mommy hood", so he told me to pack the kids in the car, bring my friend Laney and her kids, and drive down to their house in Florida.  Both him and Barb treated us like queens that week and never complained that five children under the age of five were running wild around their pool and home.

here are 4 of the five kids after a long day of swimming with Bebop

 He had cocktails for Laney and I each night, and breakfast for us in the morning.  On many occasions he invited my sisters to his home.  He always made a huge spread for all of us and some of our best memories together are at John and Barb's house, swimming in their pool, hanging at the beach, eating lots of food, and drinking great drinks.

 I can go on and on about how warm and kind this man was... I have so many more of these stories.

Bebop, as the kids called him, was an awesome grandpa.  He loved these three little boys so much and they knew it.  His face lit up whenever he saw them and they felt the exact same way about him.  They would take my phone without even me knowing and FaceTime him.  They have the most amazing memories with Bebop and for that we are so thankful.  Bebop thought nothing of diving in the pool with them, playing soccer on the beach with them, playing in the ocean with them, bike riding, vacationing, and doing all the things that make little boys smile.  He was so full of life!  That is why when the boys found out of his passing, they all three instantly felt a void in their lives.  Smith's words sum it up perfectly, "I'm so sad that Bebop isn't here anymore".  "Now we can't build that tree house in his backyard, camp in the tent that he bought us and play soccer on the beach anymore".  "Well, we can do those things... but they are not going to be as much fun without him".  I couldn't agree more Smith.

I hate cancer!  It has affected so many of my friends, family members and loved ones.  It took my mom from me back in 2001, six weeks before my wedding.  She was never able to meet her grandchildren because of this horrible disease.  John was a fighter!!  He beat all the odds!  They initially gave him one year to live  and he destroyed those odds and lived three.  He never felt sorry for himself, he never complained, he only enjoyed everyday that he had with Barb, and all of us.  He leaves behind an amazing wife who is a rock.  Barb, Kiki, as the kids call her, is an amazingly strong woman that we are so blessed to have in our lives.  The boys adore her and I know that we will be telling many, many stories about Bebop for years and years to come with her.  He also left behind my wonderful husband, that I'm so blessed to have.  He not only got his dad's hilarious personality, but also his warm heart, caring ways, and loyalty.  Not to mention his good looks.  :)

right before Bebop put his face in Jake's 1st birthday cake to make Jake laugh

I am honored and blessed to have not only known John Payne, but to have called him my dad.  I know he is sailing in heaven, hanging on the beach everyday, and smiling down on all of us.  Yesterday we saw this beautiful rainbow at soccer practice and we just know this was Bebop telling the boys that he is proud of them and that he is happy.

We love you Bebop... and things won't be the same down here without you.